Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize