its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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