there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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