i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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