Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
