just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
