College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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