I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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