wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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