Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
