I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
