i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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