I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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