I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
