Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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