she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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