I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
