Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize