I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
