maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
