also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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