i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
