margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
