Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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