Porn is love you can see.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize