used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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