But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
