Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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