3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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