Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
