This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
