my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
