she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Even my vagina gasped.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
