so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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