at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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