Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize