I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
