There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize