hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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