I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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