So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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