im gay
i know
yea but for you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
