just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
