If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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