Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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