he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
