I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
