ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm bleeding and have questions
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
