can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
