Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
