ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
