How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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