we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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