Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
