I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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