I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
