Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
