Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
