did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize