haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
