I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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